Letters to Levi
by PR123456
Summary: Upon returning to the wall Levi is greeted by the father of one of his fallen soldiers. He then receives something he would never have hoped to expect. Petra/Levi love. Oneshot. Rated teen for language.


Captain Levi stood silently as the elderly man spoke. Petra Ral's Father... Levi only half heard what the man said. Just knowing who he was made the captain feel cold and numb.

"I wanted to talk to you before I saw my daughter, you see..." His words faded from Levi's mind. He wouldn't see her again, not ever, not even her corpse.

He said something about a letter, But the words were lost to Levi I he tried to hide his anguish. But the next words cut through his resolve.

"She said that she was going to devote her life to you. Well, I guess she is too starry-eyed to consider how her father feels!" Levi's eyes stared straight forward, he was unable to look at the man. Years he had trained to not feel regret for those lost, but still the loss of his team -her death in particular- hit him harder then he could stand. He had to hold it together, and how could he if he saw the hope and concern on her father's face.

"well, as her father, I think it is too early for her to marry. She is still so young, with so much to experience..." At least he would not have to worry about her marrying him... but then, she would never be anyone's bride. That future was ripped away from her.

"Say, Captain Levi, sir... Where is Petra...I am having a hard time picking her out." He was looking around, searching now; Anxious, as any parent would be, to greet his returning child."

His cold gaze turned upwards to the man, and by the look on his face it did not seem Levi would need to speak a single word for him to understand, but still he forced the words.

"Mr. Ral... I am sorry to inform you that you will not find your daughter among the survivors, nor were we able to recover her body." He prepared for the backlash, and was rather shocked at the old mans response. He did not argue that he had to be mistaken, he did not try to bargain or ask if she had died with honor, his eyes simply dropped to the ground, defeat filling his features.

"I...I see.." He muttered as his face went pale. His hand then reached up, pulling something from his vest, as he swallowed back his tears. Shakily he reached out, pressing something into Levi's hand. "If that is the case... then. This was... her request." He choked on his words, and once Levi accepted what felt like folded paper Her father retreated into the crowd of onlookers.

Levi looked down to see a an old envelope, yellowed with age with pressed in creases from a long time of remaining folded. With some dread he tucked it away in his jacket pocket, continuing the trudge towards the Headquarters.

... ... ... ... ...

Day passed into night, and then into the early hours of the morning. Levi sat at the writing desk in his room, holding the folded envelope for a long moment before carefully unfolding it and pouring the contents onto his desk. Inside was a couple of folded pages, and two other envelopes which were folded in half.

He first lifted the pages, scanning over them.

Dear dad,

I hope my letters have been reaching you well. In three days I will have been a member

of the scouting Legion for exactly one year. I am so excited to have made it this long. I know you and mom were scared when I said that I wanted to join the scouts, and I know that survival rates aren't exactly the best, but I can't play it safe if I want to help change the world.

I have been on captain Levi's squad for some time now too, and though he comes off as rude, and kind of scary I can tell that he really does care about me and the others, and I think that with him training us we will be practically invincible! I wish you could see how amazing he was in the field. I hope someday that I can be at least half as good as him, Though I will be happy as long as I meet his expectations.

He is actually part of the reason I am sending this letter...

You see, He is not the easiest guy to talk to, and there are some things I want to tell him but can't so I included an envelope with his name on it. I know this is sad to think about but, well.

If I don't come back someday, I would like you to give it to him, okay? And don't you dare open it! I will check every single time I DO come home and I will never forgive you if you look! It's not that there is anything embarrassing or anything like that. It's just none of your business. With any luck he won't even read it. It will just collect dust on the mantle.

I love you dad, and I miss you and mom everyday. But someday, hopefully we will win this fight, and then I will come home knowing that you, mom and everyone else are safe and free. I should be able to visit in a month or so. Remember I am checking that second envelope when I do! I will see you soon. Tell mom I love her.

Love,

Petra

... ... ... ... ...

Levi's hands were shaking as he finished the note, but he lifted the envelopes then, both had his name written across the front, one was newer looking than the other. Reluctantly she opened the older of the two, pulling out the contents.

Captain,

If you are reading this than I am either dead, or my father is terrible at following directions. If it is the second, then please throw this away now and read no further.

If I am dead I just wanted you to know a couple things that I could not tell you in person. First off I want you to know how thankful I am that you chose me for your team. I didn't finish training in the top ten, and I had never been out beyond the walls when you chose me, but still you did. You said that you could tell that I had great resolve, and that the way I thought would be ideal for those who were under your command.

I always heard you were kind of a hard ass, and it is kind of true but I know you mean well. The truth is, I have never admired anyone as much as I do you. I know that may seem silly. I am only eighteen years old right now, and I know I don't have a lot of experience. But I don't think there is a person in the world who could surpass you in my mind.

I hope if you ever read this that my death was not a waste. I hope that I did not let you down. I hope also that many years have passed so that I can get to know you better.

Mostly though, I hope that you will remember me, and that my passing did not cause you any grief. I have not told my parents yet, but I will stay in the survey corps until I die, be it tomorrow, of fifty years from now because I want to dedicate my life to helping humanity, and I want to be by your side as long as I possibly can. Still though I have a feeling that you will outlive me. And if you do I hope that you at least get to see a day when humans are not afraid, and when that day comes I hope that you can live in peace, and can finally smile.

~Petra

... ... ... ... ...

He lifted the final envelope, it was still crisp. His heart sank as he peeled it open.

Levi,

I am sorry if that is too informal. I just have wanted for so long to be able to call you by just your name. It has been three years since I left a letter for you with my parents, and I thought it was time for me to add a few things. Just a few days ago a new person was added to our team, a young boy with the ability to turn into a titan, and he has many people scared.. but it has raised a lot of questions. The most prominent being if there are others like him. If so then that could mean trouble for us all.

You know all of that of course, and I am not trying to write you what will be a history lesson by the time you get it... But the thought has me concerned as well, and there are a few other things I want to tell you now.

I suppose even now I am not sure how to put down on paper just what I want you to know.

To put it blunty... I have fallen in love with you. I sent my father a letter that told him I planned to dedicate my life to you and the survey corps, and I mean it whole-heartedly. I know you will never return my feelings. You're my superior after all, and you are... well.. you. I know that you are not the romantic type, and I never expect that to change. Hell you're not even the social type.

I write this, hoping you will never see it. I write it hoping that someday we defeat the titans, and I can burn it. I hope that when that day comes I will have the courage to tell you this in person, even if it means being rejected, because you should know that In my eyes you are perfect, no matter how crude you may come off.

If I die though, I want you to know that as of right now there are very few things I would regret.

Mostly that I never did get to know all that much about you. I suppose your past doesn't matter that much, because I love you now, as you are. I just wish I could have gotten closer to you is all, close enough that you would tell me.

This must be a silly thing to read, if ever you do. But I just had to let it be known.

If I am dead, I know that I died giving my all, and I hope I accomplished at least enough to help you succeed before I did. It was only a few days ago that a soldier died as I tended to him and you told him that he did great, and would do more still, that his spirit would stay with you and give you strength.

If you said the same to me then I want you to know that it was unnecessary. If there is anything left of me once I am dead it will be with you. I will watch over you, so that someday you can be free. Thank you, Captain for letting me serve under you.

Each moment I had with you was precious to me, and made it so that I could die in peace, with little to regret. Stay strong captain, and I am sorry for not being able to be with you till the end, and adding to the list of those you lost.

Yours Forever,

Petra

... ... ... ... ...

The letter fell from Levi's trembling hands, tear stains warping the words, and causing streaks in the ink. It had been nearly six years since he last shed tears for a comrade lost, but he could not hold them in any longer.

He had known to some degree of her feelings for him, she had never tried to hide her admiration or respect for him. He had never realized how deep the feelings were however. He knew as well that he had developed a fondness for her unlike he had felt for anyone before. She was right however, it would never have been expressed, hell he wouldn't have even had the courage to leave her a letter, as she did for him, Though his fear was not of rejection, but allowing himself to be close to her.

He dried his eyes, locking the letters in his desk. He had given away her scouting patch to console another soldier, He wished he could thank her for the letters, for giving him something to know she really had existed. He washed his face then, Regaining his composure. The sun was beginning its ascent into the sky, and others would be waking soon. He had to rebuild his resolve. At first light there was to be a meeting. One of the new cadets had a theory on who the female titan was.

Levi could not save Petra, nor had he made it in time to comfort her in her last moments. He would, however make sure that the sick bitch that had killed her would be properly dealt with.


End file.
